In case you didn’t hear - I was laid off from Codename Entertainment on August 13th. To say I was surprised would be the understatement of the year for me, but it’s been a few weeks since then, and things are finally starting to feel real again. It will still never not be funny to me that when six years ago, I was laid off from my law firm job on August 12th and now this job on August 13th. I’m going to be super paranoid every August 14th for the next couple of years.

The week following being laid off, I just did whatever I wanted. I couldn’t bring myself to think about what happened – knowing I’d probably just be a sad ball of emotions. Instead, I decided to do as much creatively as I could. And that started with Dungeon Scrawlers. A few months ago I joined the board for the Dungeon Scralwers Twitch channel and had a bunch of ideas that, before, I didn’t have time to really do anything with.

Well, now I’ve got lots of time!

I sat down and started to make a quick plan for the next week – things I could feasibly pull together quickly. So, I checked with the rest of the board and got some streams together. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’ve been streaming an Elden Ring playthrough that has been doing WAY better than I expected it to. It’s been really fun to play through one of my favorite games with a chat full of really awesome people – and a few of them have even decided to try Elden Ring on their own for the first time because of my streams!

If you want to check out my Elden Ring streams — or Concentration Check that I’m doing with Erin M. Evans — go to twitch.tv/dungeonscralwers.

Then, on the 21st, I pulled together some awesome people I know and ran a D&D 5e One-Shot called Cafe to Another World. Two of the cast were Vee Mu’se and Lauren Urban, who had also been laid off from CNE. I knew we kinda really needed something calm and cozy, and the game ended up being exactly that. No combat. No world-ending danger. Just some characters that were in a bad spot and needed to hit pause and have some time to clear their heads. It was a really special game. I’m so glad we got to all get together and use that game as a little way to hit pause on what was happening in our own lives.

Also, during that week, I started writing my newest book. It’s been quite a while since I’ve had everything pulled together to write a book – my other projects falling apart during the outlining phase. But after two months of world building and outlining, I have something I’m really excited about. The story feels like the best one I’ve come up with to date and the characters feel more three-dimensional than I’ve had this early in the process. I can’t wait to get it into a spot for everyone to check out.

via GIPHY

But I won’t lie – it’s not been all sunshine and rainbows when it comes to this stuff. It’s still been tough to bring myself to do a lot of this. While I am doing things that I love and enjoy – there is this ever-looming cloud hanging over everything. It’s made up of emotions that boil down to “you lost the dream job.” So, while I’m excited to write this book, I’m having a much harder time fighting off the doubt that I’m a good writer – or this massive imposter syndrome I’m having now that I don’t get to say “I’m a professional writer” for what I do. But I’m doing my best to deal with it and keep moving.

Hell, making this website – and this blog even – is a step out from under that cloud. It’s given me a chance to really look at the things that I’ve done and go, “Well, damn – I guess I do make some cool stuff!” Hopefully, I’m going to get to add a lot more to it over the years.

I think that’s enough for this blog. Huh, this is the first blog I’ve written completely for myself. That’s kinda cool. I don’t know what I’m going to use this blog space for – but I want to keep using it. And not even in a “I hope people read my blog and love it!” Nah, this is for me. If someone reads this and keeps a kick out of it that’s just a bonus.

So, until next time, take care of yourself.

P.S. Oh, and I might be working with someone super cool and something freaking awesome soon! I’ll keep you posted!